Tuesday, July 8, 2014

I moved!

I picked up my pen and started to write again!

Follow this link to my new place!



Tuesday, November 26, 2013

what helps me pray.

My feet hit the edge of the driveway and my pace quickens, inhaling cold air. My breathing steadies, matching the rhythm of my feet. I turn right and look at the house next to me as I jog past. Over the past few months I have come to be familiar with its shape, the driveway, the trees that line it...

I look to my left to the house flanking the opposite side of the street, now familiar to me as well. I continue through the neighborhood in similar fashion...taking note of every detail. The gravel patches, dips and bends, hills and cul-de-sachs. I take in familiar sounds... dogs barking, children laughing, old men muttering under their breath... the hum of leaf blowers and lawn mowers. I catalogue these visual and audible cues...placing them with their origin in my mind. I draw a picture in my minds eye... a blueprint of the area, a framework, which I add to with each new day. I list what I know about my neighbors with the things that remind me of them.

Then I pray for them, one by one.

The shy old lady to the right, check. The bachelor on the left with the BMW and girlfriend, check. the family with the angry rottweiler and soft spoken mom, check. The old man with the walker and golden retriever, check. The house that looks abandon save for the black smoke curling out of the chimney and the glow of a flatscreen, check.

Then there is the family with two teenage boys and chainlink fence, the mom with twins and the artist with lymes disease. The family behind us with two toddlers, and the one down the street with a little girl. I jog past the church in the center of the neighborhood and pray for the congregation. Past the middleschool and highschool and pray for the administration.

I continually have to rein in my thoughts, to focus my mind on prayer... it wanders so easily, but I have a job to do. I asked God to give me a heart for my neighborhood, to help me to love them more and this was His response, "If you want to love them, pray for them."

And so I pray for them every day, and I care about them more than I thought possible, considering many of them are still strangers to me. God reminds me to lift them up in prayer as I go throughout my day, through the cues all around me. When I am loading my kiddos in the car and I hear the roar of the chainsaw from the next yard over... I pray for them. When I hear the voices of little people from the other side of the trees out back... I pray for them. When I see the old lady in her yard as I drive past... I pray for her.

It works for me. It's quick and easy, and has produced so much fruit in my life. As an introvert who would be so content to spend every day, all day at home, and only invite over the same few friends for the occasional meal or cup of coffee, this gets me thinking about others, and allows room for God to work in my heart. It also gives me the sense of connection I need to actually reach out and introduce myself to the people around me. I want to know them now.

That is what I love about the Lord... when we ask Him for something, He answers. He builds bridges where there were none, and makes strangers into friends...

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Campfire Party!

On Sunday we had a little family birthday party for Hunter. After two somewhat successful camping trips this fall, I thought it would be fun to have a "campfire" theme for his big day.

I had a hard time finding an opportunity to snap pictures of everything before the festivities began, but I did get a few...

I had so much fun creating little details like the campfire cake, edible "acorns", little fire lanterns for the kiddos, and birdseed covered letters... and had an even better time seeing our home filled to the brim with our wonderful family... a big thanks to each one of them for celebrating Hunter's birthday with us!

on to the next event... Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Two years old...

On Friday we celebrated two years with our little boy. The morning began in the traditional way...with a birthday serenade and a small gift. We spent the day recounting when and where we were throughout the day of November 1st, two years ago. We ended the day with the good stuff... pizza, cupcakes, and presents.

I cannot believe our little guy is already two, and yet I also cannot remember a time where he wasn't with us. He is the perfect blend right now, two parts little boy and one part baby... old enough to have some independence, and young enough to still need us.

I am no Julie Andrews, but I wrote a little ditty to remember Hunter's favorite things right now...

"Roadwork", "Baby Animals", and "Ten Tiny Puppies"...
"Five Little Monkeys", and "Under Construction"...
Dump trucks and trips to the park and the swings,
These are a few of your favorite things...

Mowing the lawn with your earmuffs and daddy,
Eating your dinner and then getting cookies,
Sawing, and swinging your hammer around,
these are a few of your favorite things...

When the dog barks,
When you fall down,
When your feeling sad,
You simply run over to mommy or dad,
And then you don't feel so bad.

Did I really just spend 20 minutes writing song lyrics to a melody from the 60s?... umm yes.

Is there any better use of afternoon nap-time? ha. i think not.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

In the corner booth...

This afternoon knocked the wind out of me. We got home late from visiting a family member and the kids were restless and overdue for naps. One was teething and one had just been given four cookies before getting in the car, so he was tired and wired. As I laid little girl in bed for a nap, I heard the car alarm going off and rushed downstairs to see Hunter clutching the car key clicker, a satisfied grin on his lips. Of course the alarm made the dog start to howl and run frantically around, which of course made the baby wail from her crib where I had abruptly left her.

A few minutes later, with Hunter in bed as well, I decided to take a quick nap...recharge my battery a little. A minute later the deafening sound of a hammer-drill echoed through our duct work, reminding me that the repair men in our basement were diligently installing a new HVAC system. The drill was followed by the sound of a sledge hammer (perhaps just a hammer? who can tell?) banging the metallic surface of the duct work directly below Brooke's room. Baby cried, dog barked, and the rest is history.

An hour later finds me in the booth of a nearby coffee shop, clutching a steaming cup of decaf and a folded over edition of a parenting book from the 80s. My sweet husband saw the look of desperation (and exhaustion?) in my eyes the moment he walked in the door and promptly herded me to my car, Bible, computer, and books in hand. He knows me. He knows what I need, and the fact that sometimes I don't.

I poured over the pages of my book, looking for nuggets of wisdom and truth. I heard my head tell my heart that it was time to rest, regroup, refocus. "You have two hours so hurry up and chill out."

The irony of my good fortune- the opportunity to be alone, the husband who cares about my sanity, the free pastry on my frequent buyer card at the coffee shop- contrasted to my frantic spirit, is not lost on me. I feel guilty for even daring to say the words "bad day". I am blessed beyond compare and I know it... but lets just put it out there... being a mom is a tough gig.

I realized a few months ago that it was going to take a lot more than my good intentions to raise my kiddos. More than food, clothing, and a warm place to sleep. More than snacks and naps at the appropriate times. More than the perfect blend of outings and days at home, socialization and independent play. More than studying growth charts and mapping out milestones. More than education and verbalizing expectations. More, more, more.

What my mothering needed, needs, and will always need is the living, breathing spirit of the omnipotent God blowing fresh life into my soul every day. I need it like a cool breeze on a hot day. It is the only thing that will satisfy, clarify, and sanctify my efforts. I know this and yet my conversations with God sometimes go this way...

God: What is frustrating you, my dear?
Me: Uh, take your pick God, things are crazy right now...don't you see? Can't  you make my kids behave???
God: (Chuckles like a kind grandpa) I will take care of them, but right now we are talking about you.
Me: What about me? I am tired. exhausted. please make the dog stop barking so I can sleep.
God: You don't need sleep, you need Me.
Me: Great, I will get right on that, after I take a nap.
God: Sleep will restore your body, but I will restore your soul...

And then I give in, and then He does.

Sitting in a corner booth, at a coffee shop, with the One who has been waiting patiently all week for me to come, sit, and be with Him...

Why do I always make Him wait?

Thursday, October 10, 2013

To my blue-eyed boy...

Hey babe,

I just put you down for your nap, and carefully stepped around the trucks, cars, books and toys littering the floor in your room on my way to the door. 10 minutes ago I put you in your crib for the first time, but you weren't quite ready to go to sleep. You tapped gently on the wall, and talked quietly to yourself, knowing that one room over I could hear you. When I opened the door to tell you to go to sleep, you greeted me with a wide grin and a "hi".

You know just what to do to win me over... when I came closer to tuck you in again, you said you wanted "a kiss, a kiss" so we smooched through the crib slats with fish lips until you were giggling in delight. When I repeated it was time to go to sleep, you quickly started a new game, going over our facial features..."a ear, a ear!" you said pointing to yours, "mom-eeee a ear" you said grabbing at mine, when I agree that yes it is in fact an ear you are holding, you nod and grin as if to say, "yup, I am pretty smart", and you, my boy are right.

I am fascinated with how much you have learned in recent months...you are like a sponge. Every day you say words that I did not know you knew... you play games, read books, finish puzzles, and complete tasks that a few short months ago would have left you befuddled. I see your wheels turning when I ask you questions, and you are so excited when you know the answer. These are some very rewarding days for me as a mom...to see you begin to put together a framework for the world around you.

Over and over again, I am struck with the thought that you are just like your dad. When I married him, I hoped for a little boy with his qualities some day, and I am thrilled to see that you two are so similar. You both are some of the hardest working boys I know. From the time you wake up in the morning, you are on the lookout for jobs to do. About six months ago, you gave yourself the chore of feeding Sadie (our dog)  her breakfast and dinner. You would do it just so, exactly how you observed us doing it. Sadie has since gained quite a few pounds since you try to feed her 3, 4, 5 times a day!

Yesterday, you spent 2 hours outside with your dad, mowing the grass, blowing leaves, and cleaning up the yard. I would have thought your attention would run out, but you stayed vigilant in your tasks until dad was done and ready to come inside. You want to be just like him. I love it.

You are also stubborn, meticulous, careful, thoughtful, and helpful. You love to dote on your sister, and she admires you so much. This morning you woke her up (after I told you to let her sleep;) by rushing into her room, scaling the side of her crib, and rubbing her head. She looked up and sheepishly grinned at you as you waved and repeated "hi, hi, hi" to her. Your morning isn't complete without her company.

You are a sweetheart.

You are also a trouble maker.

Some days fly by with so much fun and laughter, while other drag a little slower while you pull out all the tricks up your sleeve labeled, "rascal". Even on those long days when I am exhausted from trying to keep up with you... you still bring a smile to my face, and a quickening to my heart.

I love you little buddy, and I am so glad I am yours.


Saturday, September 28, 2013

To my little brunette...


I cannot believe you are almost five months old. Where has the time gone? Over the past few months you have blossomed into a little beauty, both inside and out. You have a smile that spreads across your face so wide that your eyes close and dimples form on your chubby cheeks. Dad and I call it smiling with your eyes, and I hope you always grin with such enthusiasm.

You have a full, dark head of hair that has strangers exclaiming, "Look at all her hair! What a cutie!" in the grocery store, park, and playground all the time. I love your silky bob, and the way you prefer to wear it these days, bam-bam style on top of your head.

You love people and are definitely more social than your brother. He saunters away from crowds to examine things alone, you crane your neck to take in all the activity, and smile broadly whenever someone chats with you. Some mornings you will wake up and sing in your crib at the top of your lungs, and let me tell you lady, you have volume your brother has yet to achieve!

Your dad and I tell each other daily, "Just wait till she can crawl, we will hardly keep up!", because you, my dear, are a mover and a shaker. From the time you were about 2 and a half months you started rolling in both directions...not content to stay on a blanket for long. In the last few weeks, you have been getting up on your knees and rocking your little heart out...you are tiny but mighty!

As far as food goes, you started waking up often in the night about two weeks ago, so I figured it might be time for you to try some veggies to fill you up! Your first meal was sweet potato puree, and oh. my.  you gobbled it up with a huge grin! I thought one meal would suffice, but later that day at dinner you were opening your mouth so round and leaning into every bite I took, so I figured you wanted more! That was a little over week ago, and you have eaten a solid meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner ever since.

Bedtime is usually more of a suggestion for you, and you like to be unpredictable when it comes to going to sleep. You have covered the full spectrum of sleep habits, from up every few hours, to sleeping twelve hour stretches...like I said, unpredictability is your trademark:) Rest assured, dear one, that the smile you give us when we hearken your call redeems even the most sleepless of nights!

Your personality is so life giving, full of fun and spunk, and I cannot wait to watch you, as you continue to grow into a beautiful little girl. You have blessed us in countless ways, and we thank God for you.

Love you,